"Blame it on the alcohol..."

Hi kids! I'm here today to tell you of the absolute HORRORS of alcohol, and it's effect on the youth of today. 

First off - some statistics. Did you know that drinking alcohol on a regular basis lowers your IQ by a rate of about 5% per unit of alcohol? Or that it increases the likelihood of getting pregnant by a THIRD...?! Or that a person can have fun at a factor of x60% when heavily intoxicated...?



Of course you didn't know that. Because it's a complete farce. And it demonstrates my point. People are too quick to blame alcohol for... well a multitude of things - be they sins or otherwise. Time for a little roleplay now class - how many times have you heard (first hand, or from a second or third party) something along these lines:

Case #1        
"Ahhh... Last night was just... sooooo MESSY. Pretty sure I almost died, or *insert suggestive themes here*. Was a good night though."
"Were you drunk?" 

This is me, sans the beer. I'm SUCH a mess... 

"Bah! Of course! Do you think I'd do anything like that sober?!" 

Now what was wrong with that scenario? (aside from the fact that no one really says "bah" in real life...) Alcohol is used as the primary scapegoat for peoples actions, granting them a certain level of "drunken immunity," glorifying the acts that would usually be vilified if performed during the day. 

I know this is starting to sound "preacher-ish," but I can assure you - I do drink. On occasion, I do get "messy," (as my friends jest at me for...), and yes, I'd probably end up doing the same thing as the perpetrator from Case #1. But I would never solely blame my actions on alcoholic influence. Alcohol doesn't make someone do something. Nor do I believe that a persons true personality can only "shine" when they're drunk. Surely it's a case of them just being a really boring sober person? 

This baby is both hungover and adorable.
 Tut tut, underage drinking at an all-time high

I'm not saying either that alcohol is to blame for the downward spiral of society. Of course, people have to be of a certain maturity to be able to drink nowadays (and I'm not naive enough to assume that under-age drinking doesn't happen... I've seen the news!). I just don't think it's particularly mature of people to blame acts of complete stupidity on alcohol. Ironically, those people are... stupid.

This lady is stupid. Or drunk...? Hmm...
hard to tell, she might be a combination of the two. 

(OK, can someone please confirm if I actually used "irony" in the correct way...? I've never known... D: )