Acceptance.

Acceptance: the fifth and final stage of grief. I believe however, that it can apply to more than just death.

I like to think as a person, I'm relatively emotionally stable. I don't like to make an unnecessarily big deal out of situations that don't call for it... (reading that back, I can think of a couple of people who would disagree... xD)

In fact, recently I've developed a theory; that life is just an endless stream of events that fall into one of two categories:

1. Things that occur that you have no control over, and therefore cannot change/prevent.
2.     "       "       "      "     "       "   control over, and therefore have the power to change/prevent.

How we learn to deal with the things we cannot change is through acceptance. For example, I've accepted the fact that I'm not gonna get any taller... (not without that drastic "leg-lengthening" surgery... o.O), because it's something I know I can't change. I guess certain other things are harder to accept then others - things that you feel you can change, but others might disagree. However, I feel it's not the appropriate time to comment on such things.

Is it then possible to still be upset about the things you've already accepted as an impossibility?

When my parents got divorced, I had no choice but to accept it. There was no time for me to get emotional, or desperately try to fix the broken pieces of my home life. It happened, and that was it. For me to get upset over something that I can't change seems ridiculous, and disproves my theory. But it did upset me. Is it the realization of your own disempowerment? The fact that, you as a person, are helpless to change things that upset you? It's hard to say for certain, but regardless, I was never too upset at the dissolution of my parents marriage... (thankfully, meaning this blog post doesn't seem like I'm wallowing in self-pity and shameless sympathy scrounging... :| ) I guess you could say that I skipped the first four stages and swept the majority of my emotions under the carpet without ever dealing with them... that can't be healthy...  

What happens to the aspects of yourself that you're having trouble accepting? Things that you try on a daily basis to change, but wake up every day with an even deeper level of self-loathing? (wow... that was a really serious sentence... defo gonna try and hold back on those... :| ) Do those people just give up? Do they take the easy way out and just run away?

Would they be one of the stupid ones and take their own life, because living with something they perceive as "impossible to accept," too hard to bare?

If you don't truly start accepting yourself, how can you ever learn to accept others?
(OK, pretty sure that's like... right out of a movie...).

I'm going to admit, I have in the past suffered from this problem. I've tried, on a number of occasions, to change and/or hide something about myself - my sexuality. In fact, I've only recently accepted it as a part of my life that won't change. I'm not exactly ready to shout it in the street yet though... (and I'll be honest, seeing it written down on this blog, knowing the whole world can see, is enough to give me a mild panic attack... D: ), but getting to this stage has taken me a good ten years. I still find it hard to even say the "G" word... (but that's mostly because of how people have warped it's meaning to have negative connotations... :| )

The fact that I am no longer burdened by this issue means I'm that much more unhelpful to those that are. It's easy enough for me to sit here, talking about how I've accepted every facet of my life, but what good would it do you? If someone were to read this, who were in my position 5 years ago, would it be any benefit to them? Would it make them even more scared then they are...? Or would it give them... I dunno, hope or even comfort... To know that someone out there has felt like they feel right now? And that acceptance is only the final stage?


And when it comes down to it, isn't it what everyone strives for? To be accepted. 

Another funny cat picture to take the edge off the serious tones from todays blog...
 this cat hasn't accepted the fact that his owner is obviously some sort of nudist.

(sorry for another serious blog post... trust me, I'm as uncomfortable writing them as you are reading them... some things just need to be blogged... :D this was definitely the hardest blog I've done so far...)